Birth Mother's Adoption Story Shows Love Through Open Relationships and Faith

Kaylee Anglesey was 19 years old, attending BYU-Idaho, when she discovered she was pregnant in February. The conversation with her parents that same day could have gone many directions, but her father's first words set the tone for everything that followed. He told her they loved her and would support whatever decision she made. This response from non-biased parents who presented facts without pressure became the foundation for Kaylee's birth mother decision-making journey toward placing her daughter Posey for adoption with the Courtney family. In this episode of Eternal Family Adoptions, host Donna Pope sits down with Kaylee to explore how birth mother experiences can be positive when approached with faith, authentic relationships, and genuine support from all parties involved.

Birth Mother Decision-Making with Non-Biased Parental Support  

Kaylee moved home from BYU-Idaho a few weeks early to be with her family during the most difficult period of her life. Her relationship with Posey’s birth father had ended, leaving her to face a deeply personal decision: whether to parent as a single mother or choose adoption placement. Her parents approached the situation with remarkable balance — they presented factual, practical information about both paths (education, future relationships, financial responsibilities, day-to-day realities) without pressuring her one way or the other. Because the decision truly remained hers, she felt empowered to own it — and avoided the resentment that can come when a parent feels coerced.

This kind of non-coercive, informed counseling is not just a thoughtful practice: research shows it matters. In a qualitative and quantitative study of 223 birth mothers and 141 adoption professionals, Elissa Madden and colleagues found that many birth mothers later regretted placement decisions when they felt they had not fully understood the lifelong impacts on their relationships, mental health, or roles in their families.

Kaylee’s father voiced specific concerns about her education and future: he made it clear she would not be allowed to drop out of college, and while he would help support a baby, he would not be the full backing system. Her parents also encouraged her to at least explore adoption even if she believed she would keep the baby reasoning that she couldn’t know whether adoption felt right unless she understood what it would mean. This honest, pressure-free communication gave Kaylee room to wrestle with the realities of single parenting without feeling judged or abandoned.

Birth Mother Research: Talking to 12 Adoptive Families Through Adoption.com  

Kaylee initially resisted exploring adoption, feeling certain she would parent her daughter. To find a middle ground with her parents while honoring her instincts, she chose Adoption.com (rather than working through an agency) and filtered adoptive‐family profiles by Utah location and shared LDS faith, hoping to keep open adoption and relational continuity. Online matching platforms like Adoption.com let birth mothers exert more control over selecting families and reviewing a diverse range of profiles.

Over the next few weeks, Kaylee spoke to a dozen prospective adoptive families. She compared couples who were new to adoption, families with biological children, those who only adopted, and various combinations. Crucially, several of these families connected her with other birth mothers from prior placements — allowing her to hear firsthand about joys, regrets, challenges, and the nuanced realities of adoption. A Scientific Literature on PubMed, confirms that peer support and access to timely, experiential information are significant protective factors: in a qualitative study of 51 birth mothers, emotional, practical, informational, and peer support before, during, and after placement were identified as major influences on long-term well-being.

Eventually, Kaylee found “the Courtneys” through Adoption.com and met Elizabeth over FaceTime. Although Elizabeth had initial reservations from a previous experience with scams, their conversation quickly felt authentic and open. When they met in person, Elizabeth’s enthusiastic greeting created an immediate connection. Kaylee sensed they might be a match. Their extroverted chemistry mattered: instead of feeling like she was interviewing for a contract, the conversations felt more like meeting kindred spirits.

Open Adoption Relationships from Hospital to Present Day  

The Courtneys developed a lighthearted way of discussing Kaylee's selection process by comparing it to The Bachelor, asking where they ranked in what they called "the Bachelor adoption." When Kaylee was 23 weeks pregnant and decided the Courtneys were her family, she presented them with rose cupcakes as "the final rose." This creative announcement brought joy and relief while honoring their shared humor throughout the process.

After selecting the Courtneys, both families spent remaining pregnancy months developing genuine friendship rather than merely preparing for adoption logistics. They gathered at least weekly, focusing conversations on Kaylee's life and interests rather than constantly discussing the baby. Elizabeth arranged a maternity photo shoot for Kaylee, recognizing the importance of preserving pregnancy memories even though Kaylee wouldn't be parenting. Research consistently shows that birth mothers who feel honored and supported throughout their pregnancy experience better emotional adjustment following placement.

When Posey arrived on Halloween, Kaylee labored to nine centimeters without realizing she was in active labor. Both families were present at the hospital in what Kaylee describes as a sacred experience. Richard rubbed her feet while Elizabeth held her hand during delivery, demonstrating their presence for Kaylee as a person rather than simply waiting to receive a baby. This approach to hospital time created the foundation for their ongoing open adoption relationship that continues today. According to Adoption Network statistics, approximately 95% of modern domestic infant adoptions include some level of openness, reflecting the shift toward relationship-based adoption practices.

Signing Relinquishment Papers and Finding Peace Through Faith  

The day after Posey's birth, Kaylee signed relinquishment papers with Elizabeth and Richard present. She describes this as the hardest part of her entire faith-based adoption journey, taking approximately 20 minutes to sign the final signature. While she knew she would see Posey again and remain in contact with the family, the action of legally relinquishing parental rights felt incredibly heavy. The moment she signed, relief washed over her with the knowledge that Posey was in amazing hands and she would get to watch her grow up with an incredible family.

Kaylee describes herself as naturally optimistic, but acknowledges that positive thinking alone couldn't carry her through the hardest moments of placing a baby for adoption. In those times, she relied heavily on faith and prayer for peace and guidance. Her constant prayers asking God to help her feel peace if she was making the right decision became the indicator that sustained her confidence throughout the process. Despite being unable to hold a temple recommendation during this period, she experienced consistent spiritual support and answers to prayers.

She advises others facing similar adoption decisions to notice small evidence of God's presence even when trials feel overwhelming. She shares an example of having a difficult day at work while questioning her choice, then finding a tiny baby rose on the bathroom counter that served as a simple reminder of God's love and awareness. As The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches, "Repentance is a change of mind and heart that brings us closer to God. It includes turning away from sin and turning to God for forgiveness." This principle offered Kaylee comfort that spiritual healing and growth remain available regardless of circumstances.

Life in Open Adoption with Weekly Family Connection  

Kaylee now lives the reality of truly open adoption with daughter Posey and the Courtney family. They see each other weekly for family show-watching, Kaylee coaches their oldest son in tennis, and her siblings visit just to hang out. Living 30 minutes apart enables genuine extended family connection rather than occasional supervised visits or mere photo updates. She acknowledges that most open adoption relationships don't function at this level of integration, making her experience unique among birth mothers.

The foundation for this ongoing relationship was built through authentic connection during pregnancy, sacred hospital moments, and the Courtneys' consistent demonstration that they valued Kaylee as a person worthy of love and inclusion. Kaylee addresses the hurtful misconception that birth mothers who place children don't love them enough, explaining that placing Posey was the hardest thing she ever did precisely because she loved her so deeply. Recognizing she couldn't provide the life Posey deserved at age 19, she made the most loving choice possible through adoption placement.

Research supports the benefits of open adoption for birth mothers; Studies published on  americanadoptions.com, indicate that birth mothers in open adoptions tend to have lower levels of chronic grief and depression compared to those in closed adoptions. Additionally PubMed article on Birth mothers' experiences of support, states that emotional and peer supports before, during, and after placement have been identified as major influences on long-term well-being.

Key Elements That Supported Kaylee's Positive Birth Mother Experience:

1. Non-biased parental support presenting facts without pressure

2. Opportunity to speak with 12 different adoptive families

3. Direct conversations with experienced birth mothers

4. Authentic relationship building focused on her as a person

5. Weekly gatherings creating genuine friendship before placement

6. Validation of pregnancy experience through maternity photos

7. Adoptive family presence supporting her during hospital delivery

8. Constant prayer and faith providing peace throughout the journey

Resources for Faith-Based Birth Mother Support and Guidance  

Kaylee's message to 16-year-old Posey emphasizes that she had the biggest plan to be here and that God ensured she arrived with the greatest plan possible. Everyone involved loved and cared for her from the beginning and always will, demonstrating that adoption created expanded love rather than abandonment. Kaylee's primary advice for other women facing an adoption decision is to seek out every single option available before making a choice and to choose adoption for themselves rather than due to external pressure.

The birth mother experience in adoption creates unique challenges and opportunities for growth when approached with faith, support, and authentic relationships. As President Russell M. Nelson taught in his April 2018 General Conference address, "In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost." Kaylee's reliance on prayer and spiritual guidance throughout her adoption journey exemplifies this principle.

For birth mothers considering adoption or seeking support during pregnancy and placement, connecting with faith-based adoption resources can provide the spiritual foundation that sustained Kaylee through her journey. Kaylee's story proves that with faith, non-biased support, and authentic relationships, birth mothers can create positive adoption experiences that bless everyone involved while honoring the sacred nature of their decisions and ongoing connections with their children.

Visit eternalfamilyadoptions.org to access resources specifically designed for Latter-day Saint birth mothers navigating adoption decisions.